Life lessons

Life is teaching me some things I don’t want to learn

Like loving someone but not showing it because it’ll be too much for them to take

Like hurting but bearing it with gritted teeth in silence instead of speaking up about how you feel

Like pretending not to miss someone even though you spend every waking moment replaying everything that went wrong

Everything that made you lose a friend you had for so long

Like smiling even when you’re dying inside

Simply because in no one can you confide

Because you don’t know who is really there for you

And who… Their true intentions they hide

Lessons like not getting too excited about dreams you desire

Because in an instant they can expire.

Life… I don’t want these lessons

I want the lessons I learnt in those ladybug books I used to read

About happily ever afters

And the evils that could never succeed

I want the lessons about friendships that stand the test of time and dreams that never fade.

I want the lessons about never feeling pain and feeling joy again.

I miss the twinkle in my eyes when I once wore a smile

Now all I do is cry

And my tears I wipe away just so that I can face the day

Nodding emptily and smiling dryly to every howdy doo

And lying saying “I’m fine” to every “How are you?”